Have you ever thought about the problems referring to your area? There are some problems that concern me in Jokolo. In Jokolo there are many motivated teenagers, both physically and mentally, who don’t have opportunity to anything in this field.
On the one hand, there are physically motivated teenagers who don’t have support to do sports or maintain a healthy lifestyle because there isn’t any exercise hall or gym.
On the other hand, there are mentally motivated teenagers who don’t have place like library, cinema or places where they can just organize meetings, hold discussions or have overview in different topics.
Finally, teenagers from Jokolo do not develop their skills and are inclined to do other things. They may become drug abusers, but we will be able to eliminate all these problems. The best way to solve these problems is to involve them in something useful.
This is a very enlightening and interesting piece of writing.
The structure and idea is well organized and thought out. Very well done. My corrections are always a little bit brutal but they are to help you get better each time. Follow up on my explanations and wypi will always get ti right next time.
I am especially interested in the subject. I will be in Pankisi in a few weeks and would really like to discuss the problem with you and the students when I am there to see what we all can do about this.
Teenagers’ Problems in Jokolo. Teenagers is plural in this case, so the apostrophe goes after “s” to tell us that there is more than one teenager with problems.
referring to your area? Spelling of area and it is a question, so we use a question mark.
referring to. Is this the best pair of words? Referring to… does have a transitive verb. “In reference” would probably be clearer.
some problems that concern me. Which and that are tricky. If you use which, you ar making a choice from a number of things. That has no number reference. Concern/ plural. Concerns /singular.
many motivated teenagers, both physically and mentally, who don’t.. Notice where I added two commas. These designate a slight change in the sentence structure to highlight the point you’re trying to make. You know it works because if you delete the phrase in between the commas, the sentence still makes sense.
a healthy lifestyle because there isn’t any exercise hall or gym. No need for a comma here because you used the linking word “because” and the sentence flows on.
they can just organize meetings. Spelling.
not develop their skills and
They may become drug abusers, They… abusers. Plural.
to eliminate all these problems. They/plural…abusers/plural…therefore…plural/problems.
to solve these problems is to involve them. If you start in the plural, generally stay in the plural. If you change in he next sentence, keep it the same throughout.
Is it one person or many? Is it one problem or many? You can focus on an individual in the second part but it must be clearly stated.